The fear of feeling lonely is probably one of the main reasons that prevent many people from travelling alone. The fear of being alone on the other side of the world, not making friends and having to do all the activities alone. I had this fear too. Especially in Berlin, I often found it difficult to be alone, which is why I avoided it as much as I could. I was asked more than once whether I was sure I was going on this trip alone when I couldn't even manage to be alone at home. But I didn't let these comments unsettle me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have these thoughts and fears buzzing around in my head, but you'll never find out if you don't try.
One thing I made myself aware of before my trip was that feeling lonely and uncomfortable when alone is entirely down to me. It's because I don't love myself enough. It's because I don't like spending time with myself. It's because the silence can get too loud too quickly. It's because I lack the self-confidence to go to a restaurant or a movie alone.
So I set myself a task for my trip: learn to love yourself. We hear this phrase so often, but how hard do we actually work to achieve it? How often do we let other people and the media make us feel insecure? How often do we prioritize others instead of ourselves? You are the only person who is with you 100% of your life. Any other person could come and go at any time. But you have you forever. So you should also prioritize yourself the most. I don't mean that you shouldn't care about other people. But a healthy amount of selfishness is essential for you and your heart. Who else will take care of you if not you alone. So that was the task I set myself over 6 months ago. 6 months in which I learned so much about myself, found myself and got to know myself in a completely new way. 6 months full of gratitude and emotions. 6 months in which I very rarely felt alone.
If you are considering traveling alone, anyone who has already done so will definitely advise you to do so. Of course, there will also be days when you feel lonely. When countless feelings come up that overwhelm you. But the most important thing here is to embrace them, accept them and not suppress them! When traveling, you gather so many different impressions that it is only logical that on some days everything can be too much for you. But these times will pass and I can assure you: the positive feelings and experiences outweigh the negative ones. Always remember that all kinds of feelings belong to you and help you to get to know and love yourself better. They are part of your journey. The journey to yourself.
But to take away some of the fear in advance, I would like to give you 10 tips on how to feel less alone when traveling and how to learn to love yourself.
These are things that help me or that I have observed in other solo travelers. But remember that everyone is different and you have to find out for yourself what works for you and what you feel most comfortable with.
Spend the night in hostels
If you want to meet other people on your trip, the easiest way to do this is to stay in hostels. There are so many people traveling alone who are looking for new contacts just like you. Especially in Asia you will find hostels of all kinds: from very cheap and simple to very high-quality hostels. Many hostels also offer shared activities that make it even easier to get to know other people.
Write a diary
As already mentioned, you get so many impressions when traveling that it can sometimes be difficult to process them all. Therefore, make it a ritual to write in your diary. Here you can not only write down your experiences, but also your feelings and thoughts. Writing things down helps your brain to process them and is a great ritual before you go to sleep.
Take yourself out to dinner
It is important to learn to actively spend time with yourself and, above all, to enjoy it. Take yourself out to dinner and treat yourself to your favorite meal.
Stay in touch with family and friends from home
You will experience a lot and the days will often pass far too quickly. Nevertheless, try to make time to contact your loved ones from home. It helps you to know that you are not alone and it is nice to share your experiences with your loved ones.
Stay in contact with other travelers
Social media is a great way to stay in touch with other travelers. Share Instagram and keep up to date with what the other person is up to. Not only will you get inspiration for your own trip, but there's a good chance you'll have the same destination again. Maybe you can meet up again in another country and continue traveling together?
Go to the gym and/or do yoga
Going to the gym or doing yoga are not only a good way to get or stay fit, but can also become a good ritual in your everyday life. Rituals help you feel less lonely and add a routine to the chaos of everyday travel. Many gyms offer daily and weekly passes and there are great yoga studios in many places. You might even find someone you can go with.
Volunteering
One thing I've been doing a lot in the last few months is volunteering. It's not only a great way to save money, but also to get to know new activities and cultures. For example, you can volunteer in hostels, on a farm or in schools. You are often not the only volunteer there, so this is also a great way to make friends. You can either ask the institutions directly whether you can volunteer, or you can get a membership with Worldpackers, for example.
Start new projects and hobbies
Have you always wanted to start new hobbies or projects, but never really had the time or motivation at home? Then now is the best opportunity to finally get started! These can be projects and activities of all kinds. For example, many places offer courses in cooking, painting, various sports and so on. Just try something new, maybe you'll find your new passion.
Download dating apps
Dating apps can not only be helpful if you are looking for a vacation romance or a little adventure, but also for simply getting to know people. Apps such as Bumble also have the option to set the Friends category. This makes it easy for you to find other people who would also like to meet new people, without it having to be a date. And who knows, maybe you'll find new friends or even a partner for life (if there is one).
Don't force yourself
As I've already said a few times, all the impressions and all the new people you meet can sometimes be a bit much. So it's particularly important to listen to yourself and your body! If you don't feel like going on a trip or you'd rather watch Netflix alone in the evening instead of going to a bar with others, never feel forced to say yes! Your body tells you what it needs and your health is the most important thing. Treat yourself to a relaxing day, just lie in bed, watch a series or maybe even treat yourself to a massage! Self-care and a peaceful balance should be at the top of your list of priorities.
I hope some of the tips will help you, whether you're already traveling or still considering whether you should actually do it. And always remember, if you can't do it anymore and you're feeling consistently unwell, booking a flight back home is just a few clicks away! All I can say to you is: do it! In the end, you can only regret what you didn't do. It will either be the best decision of your life, or a lesson.
Let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comments - maybe you have a few other tips that have helped you.
Love, Shirley
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